Sunday, February 22, 2015

Slag Valley Bullet #5

Gamma Corp Manufactorium Raid

By Cucold Stranglethorpe IV
Three Gamma Corp security patrols have attacked by unknown assailants recently uphive. On seperate occasions Gamma Corp operatives were attacked and killed around their Developmentorum complex. It is believed that the assailants were attempting to enter the complex for reasons unknown. News of the attacks have led to fears of a trade war starting amongst the various noble houses which can only bode ill for the lower denizens of the hive. An even more worrying rumour has implicated Gamma Corp with using dangerous chemical and biological weapons. a spokesman for Gamma Corp has strenuously denied the rumour.

Stabler Empire Collapses

By Bespoke Kitchens
Cunkey Stabler wealthy Guilder Wildsnake magnate has been impeached by members of the Guild due to the suspicious death of Boglund Vesh his main rival for the lucrative Ossification Valley settlement and the 7 drinking holes situated therein, including Madame Fung's Drink-Til-You-Pukerie, made famous by the Guchapole Gang Massacre. An attempt to apprehend Stabler was unsuccessful as several members of the watchmen were killed during his escape.

Cunkey Stabler

Slag Valley Lottery Announced

By Ludley Stange
Shcubert Vile proprietor of Vile Foodstuff's has announced that the Slag Valley Lottery will go ahead. The idea was first mooted at a civic council meeting which unfortunately broke down in chaos after representatives from House Cawdor disrupted the meeting and three members of the Slag Valley Chamber of Commerce were injured. It is thought that the revenue generated will be put to use in purchasing a maintenance servitor to solve various janitorial issues following the disappearance of a large number of Adeptus Sanitorium workers after a social club outing to Viagra Falls.

STOP PRESS - EMERGENCY MEMO LEAK

Editorial Following a tip off from a reputable source, our investigation team has gained access to a series of disturbing top secret documen...