Saturday, June 1, 2024

STOP PRESS - EMERGENCY MEMO LEAK

Editorial

Following a tip off from a reputable source, our investigation team has gained access to a series of disturbing top secret documents showing our beloved Imperium in an altogether more sinister light. Now we at the Slag Valley Bullett do not condone unsubstanciated gossip, but these two official memos have to be shared!


 IMPERIUM OF MAN - ADEPTUS ADMINISTRATUM

OFFICE OF COMPLIANCE: D'KEDDES REGIMENT MEMORANDUM

To: Colonel Roger "Jolly" Ringveld , D'Keddes IV Regiment From: High-Preceptor Elias Morvane, Adeptus Administratum Compliance Division Date:  0084023.M423 Re: Inadvisable Consorting with Xenos

SUMMARY

Recent intelligence reports relayed to this office indicate a troubling trend regarding your command. It has come to our attention that troops in your regiment have engaged in unsanctioned and deviant contact with non-human females of an as-yet-unidentified xenos species. Furthermore, there are concerns that your lax oversight has contributed to this issue becoming widespread.

IMPLICATIONS

The Adeptus Administratum and our Holy Inquisition allies view this behaviour as a grave threat to Imperial purity and a potential source of heretical corruption. The Ordo Xenos has expressed interest in investigating this matter to ascertain the true nature of these xenos infiltrators.

  1. Spiritual Contamination: Consorting with xenos breeds doubt and weakness of faith. The alien, especially in its female form, is a vector for insidious corruption, perverting the righteous souls of the Emperor's soldiers.
  2. Biological Threat: Alien physiology may harbor unseen pathogens or insidious parasitic organisms capable of compromising even the hardiest Catachan constitution.
  3. Tactical Vulnerability: Emotional attachment or, worse, deviant infatuation with xenos undermines battlefield clarity. Mercy granted to a foul alien is a betrayal of the Emperor.

CORRECTIVE MEASURES

  1. Cessation of Contact: All interaction with this alien species is to cease immediately. Any instance of fraternization will be dealt with swiftly and severely.
  2. Quarantine & Interrogation: Personnel suspected of contact with xenos females will be isolated and subjected to Inquisitorial scrutiny to determine the extent of any potential corruption.
  3. Exemplary Punishment: Severe sanctions, up to and including summary execution, will be enforced to deter further violations. Your own compliance will be reviewed pending this ongoing investigation.

IMPERIAL REMINDER

The galaxy teems with xenos filth, Colonel. Your duty, as is the duty of all loyal Imperial servants, is to purge such abominations, not consort with them. Should further transgressions occur under your watch, the full weight of Imperial authority will be brought against you.

The Emperor Protects, High-Preceptor Elias Morvane (Dictated but not read)


Art servitor image (servitor was subsequently liquidated),



IMPERIUM OF MAN - ADEPTUS ADMINISTRATUM

OFFICE OF COMPLIANCE: BLOOD ANGELS CHAPTER

MEMORANDUM

To: Chapter Master Dante, Blood Angels Chapter From: High-Administratum Scribe Varro, Adeptus Administratum Compliance Division Date: [Date] **Re: Unorthodox Consumption Practices

Summary:

This memorandum serves as a formal warning regarding recent reports of unorthodox consumption practices within your Chapter, specifically concerning the ingestion of Imperial citizen blood.

Imperium Sanction:

The Adeptus Administratum, in accordance with the established tenets of the Imperial Creed and the Ministorum Ecclesiasticum, deems such practices a clear violation of Imperial law and a potential act of heresy.

Justifications:

The act of consuming human blood, regardless of the source, presents several concerns:

  • Violation of the Emperor's Peace: The needless consumption of human life, even unknowingly, undermines the sacred peace established by the Emperor and enforced by His loyal servants.
  • Heresy and Corruption: The ingestion of human blood, particularly on a large scale, carries the risk of succumbing to the insidious whispers of Chaos. The uncontrolled consumption of life essence, even from loyal citizens, can lead down a dark and heretical path.
  • Public Disquiet: Knowledge of such practices spreading amongst the populace could incite fear, unrest, and ultimately, rebellion against established Imperial authority.

Remedial Action:

We urge you, Chapter Master Dante, to take immediate steps to address this situation:

  • Immediate Cessation: The consumption of Imperial citizen blood, in any form, must cease immediately.
  • Internal Investigation: Conduct a thorough investigation within your Chapter to identify the source of this practice and implement corrective measures to prevent future incidents.
  • Cooperation with the Adeptus Ministorum: We advise collaborating with representatives of the Ministorum Ecclesiasticum to address any spiritual concerns or potential for corruption arising from these actions.

Consequences of Non-Compliance:

Continued disregard for Imperial law and established protocols will necessitate further intervention, potentially including the involvement of the Adeptus Arbites or even the Holy Inquisition.

The Emperor Protects,

High-Administratum Scribe Varro

Actual Pubcam© image.


2 comments:

  1. Is this the end of the Imperium?!
    Will the Inquisition be able to halt these twin threats.
    Where are my blood donations going?

    It sounds like these Xenos are disgusting. Where are they? Asking for a friend. 😁

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear reader,
    It is highly likely that this sort of thing will bring down the collapse of the Imperium. You can do your bit for your people by purchasing "Fornicating is bad, especially with filthy xenos" written by the Slag Valley Bullett's very own editor Semper Excreedius. All proceeds go to the following charity; Cudgels for the Devout, Cilice Row, Scourgefields
    Regards
    S. Excreedius.

    ReplyDelete

STOP PRESS - EMERGENCY MEMO LEAK

Editorial Following a tip off from a reputable source, our investigation team has gained access to a series of disturbing top secret documen...