Sunday, August 28, 2011

Slag Valley Star #1


Slag Valley Star #1

Gang Warfare has hit the settlement of Fornication Gulch

Reports are coming in of a large scale gang war between a Van Saar Gang called the Psi Judges and a group of Orlocks called The Bushwackers, which shows all the signs of escalating to cover this entire region of Hive Primus.

There has been a long standing feud between these two local gangs which has reached a flashpoint with a shootout in the centre of town. Local residents report that the fight was started by The Bushwackers, and ended in five of their numbers dead.

Robo-Ralph, a local 'guide' saw the entire fight. "Those dog-gone ...buzz... Judges ...click... seemed to have an ...whirr... unnatural  ...clunk... ability to know where and ...click... when those ...bbrrrr... 'Whackers were vulnerable".

Due to the testimonies of witness's like Robo, the Bushwackers were declared Outlaw and therefore are open to all bounty hunters.



There has been a public outcry over the release of the Psi Judges, due to a technicality.

The Psi Judges were arrested in the beginning of the week for the murder of two Arbitrators and the suspected Kidnapping of a third, during an abortive attempt at hi-jacking a shipment of valuable Spook. However due to the evidence being spoiled by an accident with a heavy flamer in the evidence room, the case was throw out of court. In an interview with the Officer in Charge at his new mansion, George Felks has this to say, "Ahhh. Well ya gotta look at it like this.... Um. They were obviously innocent anyway, so no harm done, eh!...".
The Arbitrators reassure us that these 'Judges' are being watched very closely.

A NEW branch of the Redemptionist faith has opened in Slag Valley.

The spokesperson of the Redemptionists, Brother Maynard, spoke to the masses today, promising to rid the Hive of the Scourge of the so called 'Psi Judges'. The mass was up early due to reports of the 'Judges' leaving the bar. The entire priesthood, chased after the Judges to engage them in a long and bloody battle. One of the Judges apparently head butted a power junction and then the gang used the ensuing blackout to flee the battle. Unfortunately the Redemptionists were too badly injured to give chase.
A badly charred member of the Judges, answering to the name of Billy Boom Boom, released a statement that he was going to have some Pork Ribs for supper, referring to one of the converts - namely Pork Chop. Brother Chop merely released some photographs of Billy lying bleeding with Mr Chops foot on his head.

Personals

Judge Dregg is looking for any information of the notorious outlaws the Bushwakkers.
Reward offered.

Photographs for sale. Very amusing. Contact Mr P Chop c/o The Church of the Cleansing Flame. Slag Valley.

Classifieds

Used Arbitrator Badge of Office, previous owner no longer needs. Contact Slasher c/o Law Town.

Used Slave, definately not an ex-bushwakker...anyway ha had his tongue cut out....Free postage via the Night Trains.


Late News

The Arbitrators has published advanced notice of an upcoming purge. More information to follow...

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