Saturday, July 4, 2020

Slag Valley Bullett #19

Mass Prison Breakout

By Spatch Puberty
Warrior Woman,Ox Fingers,Rocket Girl,Hero & Wheels.

Animal, Schaeffer, Shiv. Demolition Man, Brains & Scope.
 Military personnel have escaped from the infamous Niem Vat military prison raising embarrassing questions within the Planetary Defense Force leadership. A source close to the PDF office has stated that "At 19:72 hours a crack commando unit was sent to prison for a crime they claim they didn't commit. These men (and women) promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade and are believed to have reached the Lost Angles underground sewage network". The group were incarcerated for a variety of crimes from property damage to willfully discharging live ammunition at  targets feet. Incorrect stowing of Departmentum equipment has also been mentioned. The group all use pseudonyms all bar their leader Colonel Hannibal Schaeffer. The group is thought to be armed and extremely dangerous. The group is thought to have received assistance from the an unknown source. A statement from a Planetary Defence Force spokesman Murgo Plonmpqvist had this to say regarding the breakout "In my day, we dint let our criminals escape from the military, oh no! Hanging for first offence led to a 0% recidivism rate. Damn recidivists, giving the PDF a bad name". In an attempt by Imperial codifiers to adequately process the breakout status and subsequent captures the escapees have been assigned the code-name Team 'A'.

Slag Valley Bullett #21

Caryatid Assassin 'On Loose'. Reports are coming in of an unaffiliated Caryatid in the Lower Skunkton hab ar...