Slag Valley Bullett #8

Inquisitorial Intervention!

By Ludley Stange

Image from authorised Servo Skull BNQ6694

Agents working for Inquisitor Skultis Droxxler was involved in a gunfight with as yet unknown assailants out in the badlands last week. A source close to the group has stated that Interrogator Jenna Persuivant's band were following a lead when another group thought to be criminals or void pirates attacked them. The Emperor's will was done as Chubbs a new recruit for the band retreived the dataslate whilst other members of the warband provided support. When the dust had settled the other group were beaten off leaving a dead abhuman in their wake and captured xenos. The xenos in question is now 'helping them with their inquiries' in a secure location uphive. A spokesperson for Jenna has stressed that consorting with aliens carry severe dangers not least of which is an inquisitorial audit. The search is now on to find the whereabouts of a large group of undocumented abhumans.

Slag Valley Bullett #7

Adeptus Propagandaria Quarterly

By Aurelis Charga

Jolamn Ghites media mogul and entrepreneur has announced that his military journal is joining in a syndication contract with some of the most popular publications from several independent journalist periodicals and we at Slag Valley Bullett are pleased to announce we have been shortlisted for consideration. Providing there are no legal issues, the Slag Valley Bullett will be available to other hives and beyond!    

Slag Valley Bullett #6

Recruitment Drive

By Pastor Pyranium Devout 

Leaked requisition documentaria have surfaced that state that Lord Helmawr has been given the task of raising a regiment from Hive Primus to aid in the passification of several newly discovered habitable systems in the region near the Glock System where the Necromundan 819th regiment are stationed (Slag Valley Bullett issue #2). This honour will mean that many of our hives brave young individuals will soon be donning the raiment of Imperial Guardsmen and fighting filthy xenos scum and mutants in the name of the Emperor of Mankind. The office recruitorium has requisitioned Cunkey Stabler's large home over in the Drydocks area of Fornication Gulch. Those wishing to do their Imperial duty can join up there. Heretics and mutants need not apply.

Training Patrol Ambushed!

By Aurelis Charga

A small group of PDF reservists were attacked leaving a single survivor. The group were performing a live ammunition urban pacification drill when they were set upon by unknown assailants in the Killa Lanneck settlement. Technologically advanced equipment was used to obscure the ambushers until it was too late for the brave volunteers to escape. Patrol leader (and lone survivor) Grigiree Sneck has been overheard saying that inferior weaponry made locating and targeting the enemy virtually impossible. When I approached a spokesman for the reservists to obtain an interview with Mr Sneck I was told he is on administrative leave and is unavailable for comment.

Slag Valley Bullet #5

Gamma Corp Manufactorium Raid

By Cucold Stranglethorpe IV

Three Gamma Corp security patrols have attacked by unknown assailants recently uphive. On seperate occasions Gamma Corp operatives were attacked and killed around their Developmentorum complex. It is believed that the assailants were attempting to enter the complex for reasons unknown. News of the attacks have led to fears of a trade war starting amongst the various noble houses which can only bode ill for the lower denizens of the hive. An even more worrying rumour has implicated Gamma Corp with using dangerous chemical and biological weapons. a spokesman for Gamma Corp has strenuously denied the rumour.

Stabler Empire Collapses

By Bespoke Kitchens

Cunkey Stabler wealthy Guilder Wildsnake magnate has been impeached by members of the Guild due to the suspicious death of Boglund Vesh his main rival for the lucrative Ossification Valley settlement and the 7 drinking holes situated therein, including Madame Fung's Drink-Til-You-Pukerie, made famous by the Guchapole Gang Massacre. An attempt to apprehend Stabler was unsuccessful as several members of the watchmen were killed during his escape.

Cunkey Stabler

Slag Valley Lottery Announced

By Ludley Stange

Shcubert Vile proprietor of Vile Foodstuff's has announced that the Slag Valley Lottery will go ahead. The idea was first mooted at a civic council meeting which unfortunately broke down in chaos after representatives from House Cawdor disrupted the meeting and three members of the Slag Valley Chamber of Commerce were injured. It is thought that the revenue generated will be put to use in purchasing a maintenance servitor to solve various janitorial issues following the disappearance of a large number of Adeptus Sanitorium workers after a social club outing to Viagra Falls.

Slag Valley Bullett #4

Redemptionists Targeted!

By Ricco Chunk

The Redemptionist group known as The Human Torches twice found themselves on the wrong side of concerned religious equality groups recently, both times resulting in violence.  The Clobs made their feelings known after waiting to discus the merits of religious diversity, which quickly deteriorated into a gun battle where The Clobs were victorious. Several members of each group were injured, but none were thought to be life threatening. 

Later on that week The Sons of Slagarchy were also involved in an altercation with the Torches as they made their way to the newly refurbished gallows in the centre of Scourgefields, which resulted in the deaths of two members of the Goliath gang. Headcrusher, the spokesman & leader of the Sons has been quoted saying "Every time I go near them bastards, I lose good men! Slasher & Flailer are now rat bait all because someone's gob couldn't keep shut long enough to spring our trap." he then went on to state that "If I find out which sump brained moron started singing to alert them Torches,......it was Reginald. Crap.".

Security Cam Footage

"It is unlikely that there will be any Guilder sanctions on either gang as Redemptionists are by & large a menace to honest hive folk. If anything, we should give them medals!" Pukkle Manx, bookman for guilder Kloss Stunkole was overheard stating yesterday.

Slag Valley Bullett #3

Pyromania in the Badlands!

A fiery skirmish marked the end of a recent bout of civility around Slag Valley. The Sons of Slagarchy- a local settlement improvement group were set upon by Redemptionists. The Sons were 'performing a public service' by 'clearing up some litter' when they were attacked. Several members of the Sons have been observed with multiple burns. Headcrusher, leader of the Sons has been quoted as saying 'Fragdamned religious weirdos! Two of my lads bit the sump. We're not going to stand for this!'. No one was available from the Redemptionists for comment. 

In a separate incident the same group of Outlanders are thought to have fought a vicious fight with local 'neighborhood watch' group The Clobs. The Redemptionists were fought off without major casualties sustained by the Delaques. Local town historian Mistaltow Flunk has warned residents; 'It's just like when The Church of The Cleansing Flame set up round here a few years back. Burning people at the drop of a hat. I hope someone gives them their marching orders!'.

By Ricco Chunk

Slag Valley Bullett #2

Filthy Man-eaters

The idyllic peace around Slag Valley was once more interrupted by a large scale incursion of a scavvy clan led by the scrofuletic Tomb Dog. A neighbourhood watch group of Delaques called The Clobs were attacked whilst they went about their law abiding business. Witness reports claimed that there were a good number of scavvys including several mutants. It is thought the scavvy gang was intent on plundering the Clobs stash of finely wrought antique gates & cooking receptacles. After an intense firefight the Delaque group drove off the mutated miscreants, only to find out that in the confusion two members of the group were taken captive and spirited away. A posse of concerned citizens have been formed to rescue the two unfortunates. If you would like to volunteer, contact Burg Mersell at the Twisted Prospector drinking establishment.